You will use the essays from They Say/I Say both as model texts for how to build arguments, and as the base material on which to build your persuasive writing. With that in mind, the class chose the following authors for the persuasive writing unit.
Bob Herbert
Cal Thomas
Brandon King
Robert Frank
Barak Obama
You spent the rest of class workshopping your response essays to get ready to turn in your work for the response uint: due Thursday.
We started by compiling a list of the kind of feedback you as an author might ask for regarding your draft. This list was as follows.
- Does the TS set up (the opening) state the main idea of the essay accurately? (and does it set up the points the IS respondes to?)
- Does the essay use the best TS/IS moves? (names the essay + the author, credits the author with the points from her/his essay, uses TS verbs, makes connections between the TS/IS)
- Does the essay cover all of the TS in the set up?
- Does the essay include enough development/examples in the IS?
- What is the focus of the response? Does the TS set up that focus?
We then reviewed the protocol for group workshops :
Begin by assigning roles: note taker, time keeper, facilitator
Note the group members names + roles on the notes
for each author:
- author should state what kind of feedback/group comments s/he is looking for
- read essay aloud
the group members then:
- say what is working well in the essay
- ask any questions about points/ideas/language that they did not understand
- reply to the author's requests for feedback
- go through any of the points on the list above which need review
Turn in the group notes + post your plan to revision to your portfolio.
Strategies for revising
We then talked briefly about HOW to revise - what kinds of moves you would need to make in order to strengthen your draft.
I classified these moves as:
brainstorming (invention writing for when you need to develop a point, re-think/re-write the focus, or think about the overall purpose/organization of the essay. brainstorming/invention writing is useful throughout the writing process!)
addition: adding more writing (after brainstorming) to develop points, add new points
re-organization: moving what is already written into a different order (usually done through listing the points you have written, and then thinking about whether they are in the best order, or noting the points in a paragraph, and then re-ordering the sentences when ideas or the logic feels out of order)
deletion: deleting material that does not connect to/develop the focus
substitution: substitution one word/phrase/section for another. At the sentence level, this is part of the editing process (substituting TS template language for less academic words/phrases); at the paragraph level you can replace less effective points/examples with more effective points (discovered through brainstorming).
Order for steps in revising. As you revise, the general suggestion is to work through revisions for focus FIRST, then work on organization, then development, and only at the very end work on line editing for language/correctness. This isn't always the order writers use, but it can keep you from "wasting time" on sections/sentences from your essay that you end up deleting.
Choosing the best essay + writing about what makes it best:
With your group, you then chose your best response essay and wrote a brief statement stating what makes it your "best" & what further revisions (if any) you made to make it your best. This statement should be pasted in at the top of the document you turn in as your "best" response.
For next class:
Read; Brandon King's essay on the American Dream
Write: Post to your portfolio all writing for the response unit including the best essay (with your discussion of why you chose that essay as best pasted in at the top).
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